


Can Take It

by kimjoongie



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-18
Updated: 2020-10-18
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:41:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,326
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27081355
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kimjoongie/pseuds/kimjoongie
Summary: Aaron and you were working in the BAU as a team, but even outside of work you were a great one. At first, Aaron thought he would never fall in love again, especially after the tragical death of Hailey. But when he had met you, he knew this was a new chance for happiness. But during a case, where you had to go undercover, he felt like someone didn’t want him to be happy, because while you were undercover, he had to listen to every single moment you were in danger.
Relationships: Aaron Hotchner/Reader
Kudos: 26





	Can Take It

**Author's Note:**

> English is not my first language ♡

You had joined the BAU three years ago, and it was the best decision you had made so far. It was never easy seeing all those dead bodies, and seeing what people were capable of doing, but the knowledge that you had prevented that someone else was going to get hurt by the unsub, made it easier to work in this field. In addition, the change from the CIA to the FBI was another reason that made it easier to work in this field. You just need someone to rely on, otherwise, your work would not be safe. **  
**

While you had worked for the CIA safety hadn’t been as important as it had been for you. Your team that was supposed to take care of you, abandoned you on a mission. They hadn’t really cared about what would happen to you, their only mission was to get the criminal and bring him to justice. It made you afraid to go undercover because you knew you could never rely on the team, you were alone in a foreign world, with a foreign name. 

But at the FBI it was different. As soon as a member of the team disappeared, every case was put on hold, and the new priority was to find the lost member and not the unsub. The last part had time, the unsub won’t likely kill himself, and if he did, no one would actually notice nor care. But when the team loses a member? That would leave its scars. 

Just like it had when Aaron lost his wife due to the unsub. Aaron had been focused on finding the unsub that he hadn’t noticed that Hailey had been in danger. Only when he had gotten the call from Hailey, saying all those memories, asking for promises and the talks about Jack, he knew that he had made the wrong decision. But before he could change anything and undo the choice he had made, Foyet had killed his wife while he had been on the phone. It didn’t just leave a scar in Aaron’s life, but also in everyone else’s life. From that moment, Aaron never underestimated an unsub ever again. His first priority was now his team and the people he loved and cared about. Just like he did with you, two years after Hailey’s death, one year after you had joined the BAU. 

A new case came in this morning - an anonymous caller left a message to the FBI explaining that there was a private club that put children in danger instead of helping them, as it was advertised. 

JJ decided to take this case and find the unsub that was responsible for this. Therefore, she took the file and walked into the bullpen and informed everyone: “We got a new case in Minnesota.” 

Hotch came out of the office and looked down to the team, “Let’s meet in the conference room, everyone.” 

In the conference room everyone sat down and Garcia started to explain what that case was about. “There had been an anonymous call from a woman that informed us that there is a private club called ‘Heaven’s Earth’ that puts children in danger instead of helping them like it is advertised.” 

Rossi looked up to the screen. “What does the description say of the club?” Rossi asked.

“I looked that up of course, and the description said that parents could come with their children to this club, stay for at least one week and they get help,” Garcia explained, putting on different pictures of families. “But there was also information about former members who had committed suicide,” Garcia added.

“Suicide? I thought they would help them?” you wondered. Normally, help implied preventing suicide from happening.

“Well, I don’t have much information about the victims. But I have found four recent suicides, all coming back to this club. The 14 years old Sarah Jones committed suicide two days after she had returned from the club.” a picture of Sarah came onto the screen. A (Y/H/C) haired and (Y/E/C) eyed woman comes up. She looked happy in the picture but something was hidden behind those eyes, something that you couldn’t really understand. “Leona Miller was 16 years old when she killed herself and her parents found her dead. It was three weeks after she had returned from the club.” Another picture, (Y/E/C) eyed woman, but with another hair colour. You could see that the hair was dyed and it wasn’t her natural hair colour. “Susanne Winston and Freya Reynolds were best friends and decided to kill themselves together. I have found this chat on the day they overdosed.” Garcia puts up a conversation.

Freya: I cannot live longer with this, it had been bothering me for a while. I thought it changed me to the positive side, but it hadn’t changed me to it. But it made me miserable. I know that I am not the only one.

Susanne: I know what you mean and I thought about it as well. No one would ever believe what we went through and what this club was about. 

Freya: Yes, after my parents laughed at me, I knew no one else would believe me either. Thank you, Susi, that I was able to go through this with you.

Susanne: Thank you too, Freya. We see us on the other side.

Freya: Yes, see you there.

Garcia sighed. “I have no further information about the other girls and boys that had been killed. Most of them were Jane and John Does. I send you the addresses of these families, in case you want to talk to them.” Garcia explained.

Hotch nodded. “Thank you, Garcia. Wheels up in 30.” he stood up and walked out of the office to get his go back.

You followed him and took your go back as well, you were not looking forward to this case. 

In the aeroplane, everyone went over the files again, trying to find a connection between these families. But none was visible, except that they had been to this club. And that Susanne and Freya knew each other. The files they had were not enough to make any good connection. It was clear they had to get more files from the police department, but they had to wait until they landed. And maybe talking to families would bring some light into this case. 

“Morgan and JJ, you will pay a visit to Jones and Miller, find out if they knew anything about the club, did they bring their children to the club or were the children deciding it on their own. Rossi, Prentiss you will visit Reynolds and Winston. I want to know how long Freya and Susanne knew each other and from where. Reid, (Y/L/N) and I will look at the police station and try to find more victims and a connection. We will meet there for further consultations.” Hotch explained.

At the police station, Hotch, Reid and you met with the local Detective who was working on that case for years. 

“Hello, this are SSA (Y/F/N) (Y/L/N), SSA Dr Spencer Reid and I am SSA Aaron Hotchner from the FBI Behavioral Analysis Unit, we’d like to ask some questions about the Club ‘Heaven’s Earth’.” Aaron introduced. 

“Yes, I am Detective Nolan, I’ve been working on this case over ten years, but I was never able to find any connection nor proof that they were to blame for the suicides of these women and men,” he explained. 

“That is why we are here. We need information about who joined the club. We have four files about girls between 14 and 17 years. Are they only in that age gap?” Aaron asked.

“Unfortunately, not. Even though the official description said that only children were allowed to join, there are adults too. We found a woman three hours ago, that was visiting that club. She had a goodbye letter on the desk, while she hung from the ceiling.” The detective looked through papers on his desk. “30 years old Meghan Johnson,” he added. “She joined the club two years ago, as it is mentioned in her diary.” Detective Nolan explained. 

“Thank you. Please stay in touch for further questions. And we need to see all files related to this club. Dr Reid will look over them to find something that could help us.” Aaron said.

“But there are at least 100 Jane Does and John Does.” Detective Nolan said shocked.

“Well, that is not a problem. Reid can read… uh… well fast.” Aaron said, making Spencer smile and shaking his head. 

Even you couldn’t stop yourself from grinning, because Aaron always had trouble finding a word that could describe Reid’s speed of reading. But eventually, he always gave up finding one. 

After Spencer had left with Detective Nolan, you and Hotch took a closer look at the file of Meghan Johnson. While you looked at her file, you remembered the girls and it slowly started to make sense. You got an idea what they had in common, but you waited for Spencer to confirm the uneasy feeling you had. You put the file to the side when your phone rang. A message from JJ and Morgan said they are outside of the police station. 

When you and Hotch arrived outside, JJ and Morgan were only shaking their heads. “They were not talkative. Mrs Jones shut the door as soon as we mentioned Heaven’s Earth and Mr Miller shut the door as we said we’re from the FBI.” JJ explained.

“Well, we try that another time. Maybe they are afraid of something.” Hotch noticed. “Reid is looking over the files right now, which means we will have enough information,” Hotch added, just as Rossi and Prentiss returned. But before they could say anything you interrupted. “Let me guess, no information because they shut the door the moment you mentioned the club or that you are from the FBI?” 

Prentiss narrowed her eyes at you.” How did you know?” 

You laughed. “Profiler.” you winked. “But no JJ and Morgan had the same problem,” you explained.

“You should have stayed with ‘Profiler’ and keep it that way,” Morgan said. “A missed opportunity, (Y/N).” 

“Next time, I will think of that before destroying the opportunity I had.” you winked at Morgan who laughed.

“But what are we doing now, that there is no way, finding something about this club?” Rossi wondered. 

“Well, you won’t like it but two of us have to go undercover. It is the only way to find out what is going on behind these walls,” you suggested.

“No way,” Hotch informed fast. You even knew why it came so fast out of his mouth. You had seen his face while he looked at all those women. He had the same idea you had. 

“Hotch, she has a point. This is our only way to get the information we need.” Morgan noticed. 

Hotch sighed. “Let us wait for Reid what he had found out.” Hotch looked over to you, knowing that when it comes to undercover, you had to go in. 

A short time after Hotch had said it, Reid came out of the police department and informed them about his knowledge about the Jane Does and John Does. “Alright, first we thought there is no pattern, but all of the Jane Does had (Y/H/C) hair and (Y/E/C) eyes. They were between 25 and 35 years old. They were introverted and usually stayed at home, they didn’t have many friends. The John Does were blond and had brown eyes. They were between 20 and 35 years old and very introverted and didn’t have many muscles.” Spencer explained.

You had hoped that you were wrong about it but you were right. These women looked just like you. They had your age, they had your personal feature. It was like you looked at yourself. 

Hotch sighed, as he realised what that meant for you and this case. He looked away from Spencer towards you. You already looked at him and smiled. 

“You know (Y/N) is right. Undercover is the only choice we have. And you also know that the only agents that fit into the pattern are (Y/N) and Reid.” Rossi looked at Aaron. 

Hotch hated the idea, you could see that clearly in his eyes. He knew about your past with your former team, and how much you hate undercover because you were left in danger. It still made you anxious even though you were in a new team now. You could see him trying to find another solution.

“Aaron, I will be fine. You will be outside listening to me, the team won’t be far away and if it gets too much, I know you will interrupt,” you told him, taking his hand into yours, giving it a reassuring squeeze. 

“Fine, but I will listen to every single word, and as soon as I think you are in too much danger, I will stop this mission at once,” Hotch demanded.

Everyone nodded, including Reid who had to go undercover with you. “And I am with her anyway. I will make sure (Y/N) is safe.” Reid added. 

In the police station, Hotch went with you in a room to put the wires on you and the microphone. “You’ll be careful. No stunts, no extraordinary moves.” Hotch looked into your eyes. 

“I’ll be fine, Aaron. Reid is with me, I know you can hear everything, which means you are there as well.” you cupped his face, giving him a small kiss. 

He leaned his forehead against yours while closing your shirt. “I really hate this idea,” he muttered.

You chuckled, kissing his cheek. “I know, but this is a part of my job, and right now you have to think as my boss SSA Aaron Hotchner, and not like my boyfriend Aaron.” you stroked his cheek. 

Hotch smiled lightly and gave you a last kiss before he brought you out to Reid and the rest of the team. 

“So, microphones are on and working?” Hotch asked, looking over to Prentiss and Morgan in the other room. They held up a thumb that signalled him that they were working, and it was time to let Reid and you go.

“Please stay safe.” Aaron looked at you. “Both of you.” he looked at Spencer, and then let you two go. 

Hotch looked after you and was praying that nothing would go wrong. He really hated the idea of you undercover and he couldn’t be there with you. 

Rossi clapped a hand on his shoulder and reassured, “She will be fine Aaron.” he looked at his friend.

Aaron nodded and walked to the room where he could listen to every word. 

You and Reid made your way to the club and knocked at the door. A young black-haired man opened the door. “Can I help you?” he looked sternly at them. 

“Hi… um. My name is Lola. I’d like to join.” you fumbled with your hands, playing the new role of the introverted Lola. 

“Come in, Lola.” he smiled at you and it made you feel uneasy. It was not a smile of a man who liked to help people, he had other things in mind. 

“And you?” he looked at Reid, but with narrowed eyes, you were afraid that he wouldn’t let him in because it meant you would be left alone.

“Phil… I want to join too.” Reid looked around nervously, and then down. His feet show to each other, making it look like he was indeed shy.

“Come in, I will help you two.” he let you and Reid in, but then turned to you. “Do you know each other?” 

“No, we met in front of the door. I… I was not courageous enough to knock on the door.” you shyly admitted.

“We will change that soon, Lola. I am Rex and I will help you.” he smiled again, and once again it is this weird smile that normally would make you take out your gun. 

You and Reid followed Rex into the centre of the building where more people sat. But the appearance of them made you shocked. There were no happy children or happy adults. They were pale and looked tired. Bruises were covering their bodies and none of them wanted to look at them, only at Rex. You wondered what he had done to them, that they were afraid to disobey him. But you also knew you would find out sooner than you like. 

Rex left after he introduced you to the people in the centre, Reid sat down and looked around anxiously, while you sat down as well, fumbling with your hands. You had asked a few girls if they could tell her what would happen because you were new, but they refused to say anything. And it stayed like that for three days, none of them wanted to talk, and you and Reid were pretty much outsiders. Until one moment, Rex came into the room, furious about something. “Who is the fed!” he glared at you and Reid. 

Your gazes met and you took a deep breath, and before Reid could say anything you said, “I am.” 

Rex glared at you while Reid looked at you shocked, not believing that you just did this. Rex grabbed your hair and pulled you after him. You whimpered and you didn’t need to see Aaron, to know that he was mad. The last thing you saw was Reid, looking scared and worried. Rex threw you into a room and you looked up at him. 

Aaron sighed and looked up to Rossi who was also listening to this. “Didn’t I say no extraordinary moves?” he said, not to Rossi, more to himself. 

“Why are you here?” Rex screamed at you, glaring down to you, ready to strike again and hurt you more than he already did. 

“I want to have information,” you said shortly, but you could see it was making him angry. 

Rex hits your face. “That is not enough! Are you alone?” Rex screamed and kicked you. “I asked if you are alone.” 

You grimaced but refused to give him the satisfaction. You refused to cry out in pain. “I am alone, and what else do you want to know?” you answered confidently even though your cheek hurt from the impact of his hand, and your stomach hurt from the kick. Rex glared at you and grabbed your neck, he picked you up and pushed you against the wall, knocking the air out of your lungs. You struggled to breathe and it was audible on the microphone. 

“We have to go in, he will kill her when we won’t do anything,” Hotch said through gritted teeth. 

“He won’t,” Rossi said. “He wouldn’t kill her because he needs information. And if he kills her he won’t get them,” he explained. 

“I want to know why you are here! Who told you to come here?” Rex released your neck and you coughed. 

“I am here because we found suicided that relates to this club. The FBI didn’t like it, therefore I came in,” you explained. But it seemed like it made him angrier, and Rex took out that anger on you. 

“You stupid bitch!” Rex screamed before pushing you onto the floor, kicking your stomach. You groaned in pain every time his foot met your stomach. Rex grabbed your hair and pulled you up and threw you against the wall where a mirror was hanging. You crashed against it and you can feel the shards hitting your face, and some of them left bruises. 

“I can take it.” you groaned and muttered. 

“You what?” Rex grabbed your hair again, pulling your face towards him.

“I said, I can take it,” you repeated, not for him, but for the people who had to listen to this. 

“You can take it! Let’s see how much you can take!” Rex said before throwing you on the floor where the pieces of the mirror were. And you fell onto them, whimpering when some of them buried themselves into your skin. Rex continued to kick your stomach, again and again. But you couldn’t say anything anymore. The pain of the shards hurt too much, and the impact of his foot. 

Hotch closed his eyes and put up his hands towards the headphones to remove them, but instead, he hit the table and continued to listen. 

“Still can take it, bitch?” Rex glared at you. But you couldn’t answer anymore, it was too painful to move any muscles. Just before Rex wanted to hit you again, Reid interrupted. “Stop it, Rex. You kill her if you continue.” Reid said. 

“And? She is fed, so why bother with her?” Rex said, kicking you one more. 

“Lucia needs your advice with something.” Reid only said, looking at Rex, trying not to look at you. 

“Fine, then take care of this fed, make sure she won’t call her team,” Rex ordered and left the room. 

“Come on, (Y/N). Say something.” Hotch whispered, listening to any signs of you.

“(Y/N).” Reid walked over to you, gently stroking away your hair. “Oh my god,” Spencer muttered and looked at you. “Can you hear me?” Spencer kneeled next to you, trying to see your face. “Why did you say you were the fed,” Spencer muttered, slowly turning you around onto a mattress. You whimpered and winced. “Hotch will kill me.” Reid strokes your hair out of the wounds on your face. 

You coughed up blood and cried out in pain. You didn’t want to move anymore, it wasn’t because you couldn’t, but it was because you were afraid it might hurt again. “He won’t,” you muttered. “He will kill me.” you smiled lightly up to Spencer who looked at you like you were dying. “Hey, I am good.” you lied.

“You are not, (Y/N). You are covered in bruises, mirror shards are buried in your skin, and you coughed up blood that means you are very likely to have a spleen rupture.” Spencer mumbled. “You need to get out of here, you need an ambulance,” Spencer warned.

“No, no,” you said, groaning. “Not before the people are safe.” you looked at Spencer, who is fighting with himself right now. 

“Be reasonable, (Y/N),” Spencer begged, stroking your head. 

“Spence, please. Go back and find out what the next step is, I’ll be fine,” you reassured him, not moving much. 

Spencer sighed. “I will come back as soon as I know what is going on. You are my priority now, (Y/N).” he got up and you watched him go. 

“I know you can hear me. Saving those people is more important right now…” you coughed again and cried in pain again. “I am fine.” you lied. 

“You are clearly not okay,” Hotch whispered, grabbing the table so that his knuckles turned white. “Get the ambulance ready,” Hotch ordered.

Reid went downstairs, trying to find out what was going to be their next step. Reid slowly sneaked up on the door where he could hear Rex’s voice. 

“We have to strike now, the fed probably called their team already,” Rex said.

“The bomb is not ready for the plan.” a woman’s voice echoed through. 

“But it would be enough to kill the people in this building?” Rex asked. 

“Yes, that will work.” the woman’s voice responded. 

“Let’s do that.” Rex’s voice said.

The whole team instantly stopped listening and made their way towards the building with ambulances behind them. 

Reid instantly returned to where you laid on the floor. “(Y/N), we have to go now. They will blow up the whole building.” 

“The people, Spence,” you mumbled, looking at him. 

“I save them, but first I will get you out of the building,” Reid explained, picking you up bridal style. You groaned in pain, as he picked you up. You were surprised that he came back to you first, that he prioritised you instead of stopping Rex and saving those people. It was still surprising you that this team would always do that instead of taking care of the unsub. 

The team drove towards the building at high speed, trying to be there before the bomb went off. But as soon as they left the car, and were about to run towards the entrance, the building exploded, while a lot of children and adults came out, running towards the cars. 

Hotch looked at the building, heart racing, then he looked at the people coming out, looking for Reid and you, but he couldn’t see you. “Where are they?” he desperately tried to see your figure or Reids, but he couldn’t see you. He couldn’t lose you too. He had lost Hailey, he couldn’t lose someone again. Not after he let you in and you made his life so much better. 

Dave shrugged his shoulder, and everyone looked for you two. But there was no sign of you or Reid. The time passed and there was still no sign. Garcia tried to call your phones or get anything from the microphones but it went straight to voicemail and the microphones were dead. 

Suddenly JJ screamed. “There, there they are!” she ran towards Reid who held you in his arms. Hotch ran after JJ and instantly stroked through your hair. He grimaced when he saw the injuries you had. “Didn’t I say, no extraordinary moves?” Hotch said softly while taking you in his arms, bringing you to the ambulance. 

The paramedics brought you into the ambulance and you laid on the stretcher, trying to stay conscious.

Aaron entered the ambulance and held your hand. He looked at you, hating himself that it got so far. 

“Are the people safe?” you whispered. 

“Yes, yes they are.” Aaron kissed your hand and looked at you from the seat. 

“I am sorry.” you apologised before you lost consciousness overwhelmed by the pain and too tired from the blood loss. 

As you woke up in the hospital, you looked around the room and shook your head as you saw the whole team, sleeping in uncomfortable positions. And Aaron had his head on your hand that he held in his. Then your eyes fell onto Rossi who read a book but smiled when he saw you had woken up. 

“Hey, kiddo,” Rossi whispered, putting his book to the side. 

“How long have I been out?” you wondered. 

“Since yesterday, you had surgery. As Reid said, your spleen was ruptured.” Rossi informed. 

“And you all stayed the whole night?” you smiled, shaking your head. “You should have gone home to your families.” 

“You are a part of our family,” Rossi said. “But we will do that. We just wanted to see you waking up,” he whispered. “And (Y/N)?” 

“Mh?” you looked up to him. 

“Don’t ever do this again, I thought Aaron will have a heart attack.” Rossi smiled, and you smiled at him. 

“I try not to do this again.” you smiled, stroking through Aaron’s dark brown hair, that made him wake up and looking into your eyes. Instantly a smile crept onto his face, he stroked through your hair. “Hey, how are you feeling?” he asked softly. 

“I am fine, I told you,” you responded, smiling.

Aaron shook his head, and leaned down to give you a small kiss. “You were not fine. You almost died.” Aaron said sternly.

“Reid took me out of the room and out of the building. He laid me down somewhere safe and ran back to save the people. When the explosion occurred he threw his body above mine, saving me from more items hitting me. It took us longer to return to the front because I was in so much pain that Reid was overwhelmed and scared to touch me.” you explained.

“This kid needs a raise,” Rossi said, making Aaron laugh quietly. 

“I will think about that, but I am so glad you two are okay.” he kissed your hand. 

Morgan and Garcia woke up by the commotion around them and instantly got up when they saw you awake. “Thank god, baby girl. We thought you won’t make it.” Morgan said, looking down to you.

“I thought I was your baby girl?” Garcia played shocked. 

“You are my original baby girl, while (Y/N) is my second baby girl,” Morgan explained hugging Garcia. 

“You two.” you chuckled but winced as you felt your rip. Aaron looked worriedly at you, but you stroke his cheek, reassuring him that you were fine. 

“Then we can return to our families now that we know you are fine,” JJ said, hugging you carefully. 

“Yes, go home everyone.” you smiled. 

They leave except Spencer who kneeled down next to her, “Next time no stunts like this, or Hotch will really kill me.” he smiled.

“Thank you, Spence.” 

“Always.” Then he kissed your forehead and left. Before Rossi left the room he winked at Aaron. 

“Before I have to go as well, I want to ask you something.” Aaron started before you could ask what that wink was about. 

“Do you really have to go?” you pouted.

“Yes, you need rest.” Aaron smiled. 

“No, you don’t have to. You are from the FBI, say it’s witness protection now and you have to stay,” you said smiling at him.

“Alright, I do that after I called Jessica and asked you something.” Aaron grinned.

“Okay, ask.” you grinned at him. 

“Well, today I realised one thing. The closeness of losing you made me realise that a life without you is unimaginable for me. It was torture, not knowing if you survive the night, and I know that I could not bear to lose you. You changed my life after Hailey’s death and I thought I never fall in love again but then you joined the BAU and I knew my life would change.” Aaron started.

“You are not firing me, aren’t you?” you interrupted.

“No, gosh, no. Just let me finish!” Aaron laughed. “I want to ask you if you’d make me and Jack the happiest men on earth and marry me?” he looked at you.

“Yes, of course!” you gasped and beamed. “I thought you’d never ask.” you grabbed his face and pulled him down to you, kissing him. But you break the kiss as you remembered a question. “But, what does Jack say to this?” you wondered.

“Oh he came to me and asked me, and let me quote him ‘when will you make (Y/N) my mother officially.’” Aaron grinned and you chuckled. 

He kissed you one more time before putting a silver diamond ring onto your finger. 

“You have a ring?” you asked confused.

“The wink of Rossi? He knew about this already, and I carry this ring with me for months already.” Aaron admitted.

“I love you, Aaron. And I cannot wait to go home.” you smiled.

“I love you too, (Y/N).” he beamed.

And like promised Aaron called Jessica to look over Jack a bit longer so he could stay the night with you. Jack said that it was fine that he stayed because mommy had to be safe. And he was delighted to hear that you would soon be officially his mother. Of course, he would never forget Hailey, nor would you replace his biological mother, but at least Jack had found someone worth calling mother. And you loved Jack like he was your son, and of course, you loved Aaron. And soon you would be a family.

Also, the team was very delighted with the news of the engagements, but they weren’t surprised, which meant they knew about it. You couldn’t wait for the future with him and the team. 

The BAU had been and was the best decision you’d ever made after all. 


End file.
